Teething Twins

I thought nothing could be worse than a teething puppy. I still have PTSD as I recall the way my dog used to sink her spiky little crocodile teeth into my arm and not let go. Not to mention the long list of items which she chewed her way through, including my iPhone, night stand, […]

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How To Bath Twins

1) Chase dog out nursery 2) Turn on the heat 3) Fill baby bath 4) Trip over dog, who has made her way back into the nursery 5) Gather babies’ clothes and bath items 6) Pick up twin A and stick a toy in twin B’s hand 7) Stop dog from trying to drink bath […]

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An Open Letter to my Boobs

Dear boobs, I know we got off to a rough start. Even though it wasn’t your fault, I’ve always held a grudge against you for being small. You’ll probably recall that my discontentment started at the age of nine when our (male!) principal awkwardly gave us fourth graders the sex talk, much to our bemusement. […]

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