How To Bath Twins

1) Chase dog out nursery
2) Turn on the heat
3) Fill baby bath
4) Trip over dog, who has made her way back into the nursery
5) Gather babies’ clothes and bath items
6) Pick up twin A and stick a toy in twin B’s hand
7) Stop dog from trying to drink bath water
8) Undress twin A
9) Run to rescue twin B, who has rolled into the corner of the crib
10) Chase dog out nursery and shut the door
11) Let whining dog back in nursery
12) Bath twin A while singing loudly to twin B, who is suddenly crying for no apparent reason
13) Stop dog from licking twin A’s feet
14) Dry twin A
15) Run to rescue twin B, who is about to knock her head on the side of the crib
16) Curse yourself for not buying bumpers
17) Shriek as twin A decides to pee into the towel
18) Get a diaper on twin A’s butt ASAP
19) Continue singing to twin B, who is suddenly crying for no apparent reason
20) Dress twin A
21) Stop dog from drinking bath water
22) Place twin A in crib
23) Empty bath water
24) Reprimand twin B for trying to eat twin A’s hair
25) Repeat all the above with twin B

I’m a twin mommy who will make you feel better about your parenting skills. Sign up for e-mail updates at the bottom of this page if you want to follow my journey into insanity. You can also follow me on Facebook.

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