Pregnancy cravings are overrated. They’re like the measly ripples before the actual tsunami hits. And by tsunami I mean Breastfeeding Hunger. Sure, I had cravings when I was pregnant. In fact, I spent my entire pregnancy devouring watermelon, much to my Asian mother’s dismay. (There’s a superstition that eating “cool foods” like watermelon during pregnancy […]Read more "The (Breastfeeding) Hunger Games"
Image via http://www.clipartpanda.com I am mom Mom not calm. Not-calm-mom For sleep long gone. That not-calm-mom! That not-calm-mom! No one likes cranky, sleep-deprived-mom! Would you sleep here or there? Yes, I would sleep here or there. Right now I’d sleep anywhere! Would you sleep standing up? Would you sleep as you weep into your coffee […]Read more "An Ode to Sleep (Dr. Seuss- Style)"
Here’s part 1 in case you missed it.) 3:34 a.m. – The twins are refusing to sleep again. The irony is so cruel I feel like weeping. I’d kill for some sleep, yet they’ll do everything in their power to evade it. What a waste. 3:35 a.m. – This rocking business is getting really old. […]Read more "Diary of a Sleep-Deprived Mom (Part 2)"
8:12 p.m. – My husband and I have been rocking the twins for over an hour. We’ve done the whole bedtime routine thing like all the books say. SO WHY WON’T THEY SLEEP?
8:45 p.m. – Who needs gym when you can just rock your baby? My arms are about to fall off and I’m sweating like a kid on his way to Neverland Ranch.
9:12 p.m. – We’ve finally figured out their rocking preferences. Caitlyn likes figure eight movements in time to “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” Meanwhile, Scarlett likes the foxtrot with huge roller coaster-like dips.
9:24 p.m.- Why does Josh keep doing the waltz instead of the foxtrot? Can’t he get anything right? She’ll never sleep at this rate.
10 p.m. – I’m tired of singing “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.” I think I’ll try another song.
10:03 p.m. – Holy crap, Caitlyn has quite the pair of lungs on her. “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” it is, then.
10:22 p.m. – If I sing one more verse of this song I will go insane.
10:32 p.m. – Discovered that inserting swear words into the song helps.
10:48 p.m. – Woo hoo! The twins are finally asleep.
11:18 p.m. – Just realised it’s been four hours since their last feed. With our luck, they’ll wake up hungry any minute now.
11:21 p.m. – I knew it! FML.
11:45 p.m. – They’re done eating. Now to try rocking them to sleep again.
12:55 a.m. – Screw it. We’ll just drive them around until they fall asleep.
1:58 a.m. – Been driving for an hour now. Feel a sudden urge to weep.
2:15 a.m. – They’re finally asleep! We can start heading home.
2:23 a.m. – Darn it. Why didn’t we take the highway home? They keep waking up and crying every time we stop at the traffic lights.
2:43 a.m.- Resorted to driving really slowly every time we approach a red light so we don’t have to stop.
3:02 a.m. – They’re sleeping again. Will just drive around for another fifteen minutes to make sure they get into a deep sleep.
3.17 a.m. – Their breathing is regular and their limbs are limp. Think we’re finally safe.
3:22 a.m. – Little brats. Immediately woke up as soon as we pulled into the driveway.
I’m a twin mommy who will make you feel better about your parenting skills. Sign up for e-mail updates at the bottom of this page if you want to follow my journey into insanity. You can also follow me on Facebook.