Diary of a Sleep-Deprived Mom (Part 2)

Here’s part 1 in case you missed it.)

3:34 a.m. – The twins are refusing to sleep again. The irony is so cruel I feel like weeping. I’d kill for some sleep, yet they’ll do everything in their power to evade it. What a waste.

3:35 a.m. – This rocking business is getting really old. Why can’t they settle for gentle rocking anyway? Why do they demand all these ridiculously vigorous movements? I’m sweating like a pregnant nun in a confessional.

3:38 a.m. – Foxtrot, Josh! Foxtrot! How many times do I have to tell him?

3:41 a.m. – Woo hoo! They’re finally asleep! Now to put them down.

3:42 a.m. – How am I supposed to move my arm from under her head without waking her?

3:55 a.m. – I should be a contortionist. I just pulled off the most impressive set of moves. Now to slowly creep away.

3:57 a.m. – Bloody floor boards. Didn’t realise how creaky they were. Oh well, the twins are due for another feed anyway.

4:32 a.m. – Back to rocking…

5:01 a.m. – And they’re out!

5:02 p.m. – Just hit my leg on the corner of the dresser. Bloody sore but wasn’t thinking about the pain. Was more horrified at the loud bang it made and kept thinking, “Please don’t wake up! ”

5:03 a.m. – It woke them up.

5:04 a.m. – Never mind. We’ll just wear them in the carriers.

5:07 a.m. – Wow, that was quick. We just jiggled them around for a bit and they fell asleep. Should have tried this sooner.

5:15 a.m. – Whoever said “sleep when the babies sleep” obviously never considered that this is physically impossible when you have to resort to wearing your baby in a carrier. Believe me, I’ve tried. Not even my contortionist movements could save me.

5:17 a.m. – My shoulders are killing me.

5:18 a.m. – Wow, I’m starving. I’ll make us some breakfast. At least I can finally sit down.

5:19 a.m. – … Or not. It’s just like the traffic light situation. They keep waking up every time we attempt to sit.

5:23 a.m. – I’ll just eat standing up then.

5:25 a.m. – Cereal was a really bad choice of breakfast. Keep spilling bits in Caitlyn’s hair. Not wiping it off though. Don’t want to risk waking her up.

5:29 a.m. – I’ve decided to eat toast for breakfast tomorrow.  Who would’ve thought meal- planning would revolve around what’s easiest to eat while carrying a baby.

5:34 a.m.- Bloody dog’s barking woke them up. Seriously contemplating dropping her off at the nearest Chinese restaurant.

5:45 a.m. – All this rocking is driving me insane. Think I’ll try putting them in the crib drowsy but awake like all the books say.

5:50 a.m. – Holy crap. How does something that small make so much noise?!

5:51 a.m. – Trying to pat their bums while making shushing noises, like all the books say. I thought it was meant to calm them down, but it seems to be having the opposite effect.

5:52 a.m. – Bloody hell. They’re screaming so hard they’re turning purple. That’s not normal, is it?

5:53 a.m. – I give up. I’ll try the swings.

5:55 a.m. – Why won’t they stop crying? I’d hack off my left arm to be rocked in a swing. They’re so ungrateful.

5:57 a.m. – Never mind. We’ll just put them in the stroller and go for a walk.

6:04 a.m. – They seem to like all the bumpy bits in the road. We’re purposely aiming the stroller at all the speed bumps and potholes.

6:23 a.m. – That did the trick. They’re finally asleep. But can’t go home now or will risk waking them up. Will just keep walking till they wake up naturally.

8:25 a.m – Been walking for two friggin’ hours. But I don’t care. All that matters is that they’re sleeping! I feel so elated, like when you finally poo after being constipated for days.

I’m a twin mommy who will make you feel better about your parenting skills. Sign up for e-mail updates at the bottom of this page if you want to follow my journey into insanity. You can also follow me on Facebook.

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6 thoughts on “Diary of a Sleep-Deprived Mom (Part 2)

  1. This seriously made my day!! 😂

    Though I’m a little jealous… I wish my twins would nap in the stroller. Two hours walking outside getting some fresh air sound amazing. The stroller and car seats are apparently evil at times… they’re hit or miss. But most of the time, they only last 15-20 minutes before the screaming begins. 😑

    Like

  2. Loved this!

    I’ve been known to go for a drive until the little ones sleep.. park in the driveway with the car on.. move over to the passenger side of the car, recline the seat and nap.

    Gotta do what you gotta do.

    Also, look into Mama Roos! Never had them for my twins, but my sister swears by hers.

    Like

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